Behind a Painted Smile
by ezzelin
Summary: Songfic based off Behind a Painted Smile by The Isley Brothers. One-sided Kise/Aomine.


__**Pairing:** one-sided Kise/Aomine**  
**

**Warnings:** Angst, and a nice load of it; not much plot; possible OOC-ness and rusty writing skills.

**Summary:** Songfic based off _Behind a Painted Smile _by Isley Brothers.

**Disclaimer:** I do not in any way own Kuroko no Basket and its characters. All I own is an angsty mind and some feeble writing skills.

* * *

_Whenever you're near I hide my tears  
Behind a painted smile_

His phone beeped a familiar tune, notifying him of a new message. With a used gesture, the blond fished the cell out of his jacket pocket, reading what news the world has for him…when he noticed the sender's number, his lips contorted into a bittersweet smile that spoke volumes.

_You can't imagine the tears and sorrow  
Behind a painted smile_

Rapidly, he texted back to agree to kill the rest of the afternoon together. He had never denied _him_ company after all, and probably never will. Many thought that it was simply not in his nature to say "no" at all… but it wasn't that simple. Life was a sequence of events where you could say "no" and move on, or choose not to and trap yourself in the endless cycle of repetition… he _could_ have said no, he just didn't want to. It would be better for him to cut himself off and move on, but he _couldn't _ bear the thought of it. So he smiled.

_My life's a masquerade  
A world of let's pretend, yeah_

Kise breathed in and out slowly, and put on his practised smile like it was a piece of clothing – well, in a way, it was. A mask for everyone to see, to hide his true feelings, to make everyone like him. Like a girl would apply her make-up every morning, he would plaster the never-ending smile on his face, and keep up the charade throughout the day without failure. He was a master of the routine by now; no one would notice the ugly feelings he hid away beneath the pretty face, the flawless manners, the flashy clothes, the flattering words, the bright smile.

_Since you took your love  
Pretending never ends, yeah_

His former teammates were no exception. His melodical laughter would echo across the street as he would shower Kuroko with attention time and time again, only to hide the ugly beast roaring inside him – that ugly beast by the name of jealousy. Yes, Kurokocchi was adorable like a puppy, and a genious player in his own way, and if it wasn't for another factor, Kise would be his honest friend… yet that one factor made all the difference. What no one knew was that Kise hated Kuroko… hated him from the bottom of his wretched, shattered heart.

_But I can't let you know  
That I still need you so, no_

But of course, Kise was a professional, how could anyone know? Besides that, he couldn't afford anyone uncovering his ugly secret… from time to time, he thought that Kuroko had figured it out, and it scared him. The cold, deadpanned glance that the kid gave him scared the shit out of him – but regardless whether he knew or not, Kuroko was not the one to discuss other people's affairs, that much Kise knew he could count on. So all he could do was keep his little game up, paint a smile on his face and act like he always had… after all, he couldn't let _him_ know what he felt.

_I can't let you see  
All the tears I'm crying_

Sure, he had considered confessing before. But that was a foolish dream, followed by a harsh awakening to the real world… Aominecchi and Kurokocchi were an item, anyone could see that. Even if perhaps it had not been official, even if they had not enjoyed the carnal pleasure of a relationship, their minds were the same and their hearts beat as one. There was no room for Kise there; he was just a foolish third wheel, always getting in the way, annoying Aominecchi and getting scolded every time… but he kept getting in the way nonetheless. He craved for attention, and any form of it would do, even if it was anger, frustration and irritation.

_You would pity me  
That would be like dying_

He used to imagine how _his_ face would look if he confessed. Would he be shocked? Would he laugh? Would he pity him? …knowing _him_, probably all of that and more. _His_ eyes would widen asymmetrically as always when _he_ was surprised, with one brow raised higher than the other, and _he_'d question his sanity or ask him if he was joking first… then, _he_'d probably try to laugh it off, try to convince Kise it was just a misconception on his part, and then finally, _he_'d pity him… _he_ probably wouldn't say sorry, but Kise knew _he_ was a good, caring person inside, and _he_'d feel sorry for him.

_If I can't have your love  
I don't need your sympathy_

But Kise doesn't need that. He doesn't need _his_ pity, doesn't need the tea and sympathy… he needs _him_ to be the way _he_'s always been. That's why… _he_ can never know. He needs _him_ to stay just like this, a happy basketball junkie, getting high on adrenaline during evenly-matches one-one-ones, smiling that contagious wide grin of his, being rash and destructive when he's upset, and never really showing that best side of him – the part of him that is actually a devoted, caring gentleman, the kind they don't make anymore.

_I just can't let you see  
How much you hurting me_

If _he_ knew how Kise felt, it would trouble him… that careless face of his, never clouded by troubles heavier than Maths homework would become marred with worry, and his proud shoulders would slouch down from the burdening weight overhead. No, he had to be strong. He had to be strong for Aominecchi, and for himself… paint the smiling face again, and keep going. He was a master illusionist after all, the best clown in the parade.

_Whenever you're near I hide my tears  
Behind a painted smile_

.


End file.
